The Wit of the Marx Brothers
Groucho flirting (from Monkey Business):Sound file available
    Groucho: How about you and I passing out on the veranda, or would you rather pass out here?
    Woman: Sir, you have the advantage of me!
    Groucho: Not yet I haven't, but wait till I get you outside.
Groucho on love (from Duck Soup): Sound file available
    Firefly (Groucho): Not that I care, but where is your husband?
    Mrs. Teasedale (Margaret Dumont): Why, he's dead.
    Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse.
    Mrs. T: I was with him till the very end.
    Firefly: Huh! No wonder he passed away.
    Mrs. T: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
    Firefly: Oh, I see. Then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
    Mrs. T: He left me his entire fortune.
    Firefly: Is that so? Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I love you.