The Wit of the Marx Brothers
Chico on ethics (from Animal Crackers):
    Arabella (Lillian Roth): Oh, Mr. Ravelli, I want you to do something for me.
    Ravelli (Chico): I do anything for you. What you want I should do?
    Arabella: You see that painting?
    Ravelli: You mean this piksh?
    Arabella: I want you to take that out of the frame and put this one in its place.
    Ravelli: You want I should take this one 'a down put this one upstairs.
    Arabella: Yes, that's it.
    Ravelli: You want I should steal?
    Arabella: Oh no. It's not stealing.
    Ravelli: Well, then I couldn't do it.