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A Night at the Opera
Lyrics to Hooray for Captain Spaulding:

Jamison (Zeppo): There's something that I'd like to state
That he's too modest to relate.
The Captain is a moral man.
Sometimes he finds it trying.

Spaulding (Groucho): This fact I'll emphasize with stress:
I never take a drink unless
Somebody's buying.

Crowd: The Captain is a very moral man.

Jamison: If he hears anything obscene,
He'll naturally repel it.

Spaulding: I hate a dirty joke I do,
Unless it's told by someone who
Knows how to tell it.

Crowd: The Captain is a very moral man.
Hooray for Captain Spaulding,
The African Explorer.

Spaulding: Did someone call me Schnorer?

Crowd: Hooray hooray hooray!

Spaulding: [Wacky Dance]

Jamison: He went into the jungle,
Where all the monkeys throw nuts.

Spaulding: If I stay here I'll go nuts.

Crowd: Hooray hooray hooray.

Spaulding: [Wacky Dance]

Crowd: He put all his reliance
In courage and defiance.
And risked his life for science.

Spaulding: Hey hey!

Mrs. Rittenhouse (Margaret Dumont): He is the only white man
Who covered every acre.

[Note: This line is often edited from the film, and the version from
which the sound clip was taken is no exception]

Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her.

Crowd: Hooray hooray hooray!

Spaulding: [Extended Wacky Dance]

Crowd: He put all his reliance
In courage and defiance.
And risked his life for science.

Spaulding: Hey hey!

Crowd: Hooray for Captain Spaulding,
The African explorer.
He brought his name undying fame,
And that is why we say:
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Spaulding (spoken): My friends, I am highly gratified at this
magnificent display of effusion. And I want you to know -

Crowd (interrupting): Hooray for Captain Spaulding,
The African explorer.
He brought his name undying fame,
And that is why we say:
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Spaulding (spoken): My friends, I am highly gratified at this
magnificent display of effusion. And I want you to know -

Crowd (interrupting again): Hooray for Captain Spaulding,
The African explorer.
He brought his name undying fame,
And that is why we say:
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Spaulding (spoken): My friends, I am highly gratified at this
magnificent display of effusion. And I want you to know -
(singing): Hooray for Captain Spaulding,
the African Inquirer.
(spoken): Well, somebody's gotta do it.